Saturday, January 29, 2011
Unbelievable
Last night I had decided to visit a fast food business' drive thru. As soon as I arrived on the scene, I knew it had been a bad decision. It was red neck central at that exact moment. I'm talking about trucks with camo siding, huge fucking attenae sticking out the back of their vehicles with tennis balls attached, muddy ass 4 wheelers loaded in the beds of their trucks, and then...I saw the most horrifying thing of all. Just when I thought red necks couldn't get any fucking dumber, I pulled around to the drive through and saw that some dumbasses had a little cart thing attached to the back of their truck that they were using to haul deer carcasses on. Seriously! I mean who the fuck wants to see dead, bloodied deer when you're about to order food? For fuck's sake! Then the assholes pulled into a parking spot after getting their food so that anyone who missed this ghastly site would be sure to see it just as they got their food and would begin driving off. Yep, they parked in a spot right next to the drive thru window. I quickly whipped out my phone to try and get a picture while I waited in the drive thru line, but none of them turned out clear enough to view. Well, congratulations you dumb mother fuckers! I wasn't able to thoroughly enjoy my food and in fact, I almost couldn't even eat after seeing that. Next time, just throw the deer carcasses in the bed of your fucking truck so no one else has to see that shit! Especially if you plan on stopping by a restaurant!!!
Friday, January 21, 2011
For Fuck's Sake!
I'd like to take a moment to reflect on my day so far.
I woke up feeling sick and irritable, not to mention there was no way for me to get my caffeine fix this morning.
I had a package to mail off so I rushed to the post office with my packing slip and stood in line for a good fifteen minutes behind some geriatric fuck. When it was finally my turn, the mail lady gave me the evil eye and said "This is a Fed Ex label, they're across the street." OF COURSE! So I rushed to UPS, the ONLY building that the lady could have been talking about, just to find out that they couldn't take the package either and that the nearest Fed Ex was an hour away. BUT I could drive down the street and slip the package into the Fed Ex box in the parking lot of the animal clinic. So I decided to do that. Next, I had to go to AT&T to see about separating my bill from my ex's since we recently split. They couldn't do it in person and gave me some number to call. So I drove home and called only to find out that there was somehow a $4.09 amount past due that I'd have to pay before they could start the process of separating the mother fucking accounts. So my grumpy ass drove BACK to AT&T to pay the whole $4.09. Once I stepped inside, the only two sales reps around had me wait a minute while they finished their story before asking what they could do for me. I was then informed that there was a $5.00 service fee for paying in cash. For fuck's sake. As I stood at the computer while the guy pulled up my account information, he had the nerve to tell me to hold on as I was asking a question, so that he could proceed to continue talking to his co-worker about some party he missed out on and an "altercation" that had occurred. I was beyond irritated at that point, but being the classy, sophisticated lady I am, I waited patiently for the bitch to finish her story so that I may ask this guy a question. I was then charged $9.09 due to the service fee. Awesome. Now I have to wait for my ex to contact THEM so they can continue the process of separating the accounts. Awesome. When we were dating, he couldn't do a damn thing on his own. Looks like we'll be on the family plan forever. For fuck's sake!
Oh and how could I forget the fucking douche bags who cut me off today when I had been waiting in traffic for ten minutes. Oh and how I had hit every damn red light everywhere I went. And how everything took forever to do and I had to pee so badly I thought my bladder would burst and OF COURSE none of the places I had to go to today had a public restroom. Fuck my life.
I woke up feeling sick and irritable, not to mention there was no way for me to get my caffeine fix this morning.
I had a package to mail off so I rushed to the post office with my packing slip and stood in line for a good fifteen minutes behind some geriatric fuck. When it was finally my turn, the mail lady gave me the evil eye and said "This is a Fed Ex label, they're across the street." OF COURSE! So I rushed to UPS, the ONLY building that the lady could have been talking about, just to find out that they couldn't take the package either and that the nearest Fed Ex was an hour away. BUT I could drive down the street and slip the package into the Fed Ex box in the parking lot of the animal clinic. So I decided to do that. Next, I had to go to AT&T to see about separating my bill from my ex's since we recently split. They couldn't do it in person and gave me some number to call. So I drove home and called only to find out that there was somehow a $4.09 amount past due that I'd have to pay before they could start the process of separating the mother fucking accounts. So my grumpy ass drove BACK to AT&T to pay the whole $4.09. Once I stepped inside, the only two sales reps around had me wait a minute while they finished their story before asking what they could do for me. I was then informed that there was a $5.00 service fee for paying in cash. For fuck's sake. As I stood at the computer while the guy pulled up my account information, he had the nerve to tell me to hold on as I was asking a question, so that he could proceed to continue talking to his co-worker about some party he missed out on and an "altercation" that had occurred. I was beyond irritated at that point, but being the classy, sophisticated lady I am, I waited patiently for the bitch to finish her story so that I may ask this guy a question. I was then charged $9.09 due to the service fee. Awesome. Now I have to wait for my ex to contact THEM so they can continue the process of separating the accounts. Awesome. When we were dating, he couldn't do a damn thing on his own. Looks like we'll be on the family plan forever. For fuck's sake!
Oh and how could I forget the fucking douche bags who cut me off today when I had been waiting in traffic for ten minutes. Oh and how I had hit every damn red light everywhere I went. And how everything took forever to do and I had to pee so badly I thought my bladder would burst and OF COURSE none of the places I had to go to today had a public restroom. Fuck my life.
Monday, January 3, 2011
That's Life
Just thought I'd update everyone on my life. Sorry I haven't written in a while, it's that damn Call of Duty game. It has me hooked. It's a legal form of crack!
Anyway, I'm still job hunting. My chances of becoming a pro gamer are 1 in a million, so I have to go out and apply at boring, normal places. Like AT&T. I applied there not too long ago and haven't heard anything. Today, I went there to pay my phone bill and some new lady was there. She was rather old and looked like a former crack head. I asked about my contract and she wrote down a number for me. Under the number she wrote "Finicial Services". I kid you not. Congratulations, AT&T. You didn't hire me, an educated young lady, but you hired a fucking illiterate dinosaur. Now in about 5 years when she decides to retire, you'll have to hire an educated young lady and I just might be too busy to answer your call.
In other news, relatives bought nothing but noise toys for my son for Christmas. Thank you, everyone. I already had trouble sleeping at night, but now I get to stay up ALL night hearing things squeak, click and sing gay songs.
My cousin and her boyfriend were visiting from out of town for about two weeks. They'd switch off and on between my house and her boyfriend's family's house. I love my cousin and her boyfriend, but after a while, you miss being able to run around half naked and being able to play Call of Duty without feeling like an asshole while everyone else sits around and talks. Also, you just start to hate trying to entertain everyone. It wouldn't have been so bad if all of us could have agreed on something. Instead it went like this...
"I want to play Call of Duty."
"I want to watch a movie."
"No, movies put me to sleep, and I'm tired of Call of Duty."
"Let's go shopping."
"We're too broke to go shopping."
"Window shopping is fun."
"No it's not, it's depressing."
"Well let's play a board game."
"BORING!"
"Gay."
"We could .."
"No."
And that's pretty much how it went for two weeks. So while everyone argued over what to do, I nonchalantly put in Call of Duty and did what I wanted to do until they could agree on something. And of course, it was always the same when we wanted to listen to music.
"Let's listen to rap."
"Fuck that, put in Bob [Marley]."
"No, you can't dance to that, put techno."
"I have my death metal CDs in the car."
"EWW! No!"
And so on and so forth. So most of our time was spent in silence, doing nothing but stare at each other. Except for me. I spend most of the time playing Call of Duty and then others would see how much fun I was having and want to join in. Needless to say, next time people come to visit, I'll rent a hotel room for them :]
Anyway, I'm still job hunting. My chances of becoming a pro gamer are 1 in a million, so I have to go out and apply at boring, normal places. Like AT&T. I applied there not too long ago and haven't heard anything. Today, I went there to pay my phone bill and some new lady was there. She was rather old and looked like a former crack head. I asked about my contract and she wrote down a number for me. Under the number she wrote "Finicial Services". I kid you not. Congratulations, AT&T. You didn't hire me, an educated young lady, but you hired a fucking illiterate dinosaur. Now in about 5 years when she decides to retire, you'll have to hire an educated young lady and I just might be too busy to answer your call.
In other news, relatives bought nothing but noise toys for my son for Christmas. Thank you, everyone. I already had trouble sleeping at night, but now I get to stay up ALL night hearing things squeak, click and sing gay songs.
My cousin and her boyfriend were visiting from out of town for about two weeks. They'd switch off and on between my house and her boyfriend's family's house. I love my cousin and her boyfriend, but after a while, you miss being able to run around half naked and being able to play Call of Duty without feeling like an asshole while everyone else sits around and talks. Also, you just start to hate trying to entertain everyone. It wouldn't have been so bad if all of us could have agreed on something. Instead it went like this...
"I want to play Call of Duty."
"I want to watch a movie."
"No, movies put me to sleep, and I'm tired of Call of Duty."
"Let's go shopping."
"We're too broke to go shopping."
"Window shopping is fun."
"No it's not, it's depressing."
"Well let's play a board game."
"BORING!"
"Gay."
"We could .."
"No."
And that's pretty much how it went for two weeks. So while everyone argued over what to do, I nonchalantly put in Call of Duty and did what I wanted to do until they could agree on something. And of course, it was always the same when we wanted to listen to music.
"Let's listen to rap."
"Fuck that, put in Bob [Marley]."
"No, you can't dance to that, put techno."
"I have my death metal CDs in the car."
"EWW! No!"
And so on and so forth. So most of our time was spent in silence, doing nothing but stare at each other. Except for me. I spend most of the time playing Call of Duty and then others would see how much fun I was having and want to join in. Needless to say, next time people come to visit, I'll rent a hotel room for them :]
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